Lessons I've Learned from my Three Year Old

As parents we often spend a great deal of time focusing on the lessons we are teaching our kids, the things we hope they learn from us as they grow. We place such great emphasis on leaving a positive mark on our children and whether we are providing them with the tools they need to one day spread their wings. Yes, the life lessons we teach our kids are obviously an important component of their future success, but I also think we could benefit from soaking in all the things they are teaching us. Whether you realize it or not your children are teaching you important lessons in both big and small ways. I’m sure you regularly take an inventory of all of the things you have taught or want to teach your children in the future, but have you ever stopped and really thought about what you have learned from your children? The idea that my kids could teach me things is a pretty recent realization for me, and I have decided it would be interesting to unpack the lessons I have learned from my four kids through the course of my next few blog posts.

My three year old is constantly reminding me that less is more. Georgia like many other preschoolers, has way too many toys and that can often be stimulation overload. They often have so much in front of them that they can’t even begin to actually play. Overwhelmed by excess, they don’t know what to touch first or how to use their imagination in the moment because there are way too many colors, textures, and overall just too many items.Take a minute and think about your favorite item of clothing, let's say you are like me and you love comfy oversized crew neck sweaters. Picture a giant warehouse style store filled with only oversized crew neck sweaters. You look around and see sweaters in every direction piled endlessly in every possible color, graphic and pattern. Your brain would likely be immediately overwhelmed by the excess and overstimulation. If you’re anything like me, your anxiety might start to spike, your heart would race and you would begin sweating in the weirdest places. This same concept can be applied to young kids who have too many toys at once, things can quickly become overwhelming. In the same way, this reminds me of how excited my kids are to play with simple things like cardboard boxes. Do your kids love a good box? My kids will find a million ways to color, stack, cut up and play with boxes. I have given some serious thought to just wrapping up empty boxes this year for christmas. As parents we often think we need to give our children everything, oftentimes we justify the excessive toys as a way of giving our kids everything we didn’t have as children. I have set a goal to start creating more memories with my kids and spend less money on things. The bottom line here is less truly is more, as parents we should commit to buying less materialistic junk and commit to giving more of our time.

In a recent conversation with my three year old, I had one of those lightbulb moments...you know the moments when something just clicks in your brain. Oprah used to constantly talk about these aha moments, moments when you see something in a new light. I recently learned that true joy is found in imagination. My daughter Georgia started preschool this year, and for the first month I would find all kinds of sequins and tiny gems all over her seat and the floor after we got home from school. As a mom of four kids, keeping my car clean seems like an endless battle between the fruit snack wrappers and the goldfish that get smashed into my carpet. When I saw these random craft supplies everywhere, I got really annoyed that there were additional things to clean up in our family vehicle. I would moan and complain about it but I would clean them up and move on with my day. This same situation continued to happen every single time my daughter went to preschool and I finally asked her why I was growing a craft store in my SUV mats. I’m sure the look on my face was priceless when she replied, “Mom you didn’t throw them out did you? Those are special priceless gems I found in the sandbox at school. I am keeping them in the car because then our car will be filled with special treasures.” To me these random craft supplies were simply an annoyance and destined for the vacuum cleaner, but to my three year old daughter these were priceless gems. I think as adults we often suck the joy out of life without even trying, as awful as that sounds somewhere along the way we forget what it's like to have an imagination. Kids have this amazing ability to find magic in the ordinary, they find so much joy in things that adults often overlook in our daily hustle. I have learned that all adults could truly benefit from slowing down and seeing the world through the eyes of a three year old, maybe then we would all recapture a little piece of our childhood sense of wonder.

My three year old is perhaps just as strong willed as her two older sisters, the idea of having three strong willed daughters is both nerve wracking and exciting as I think about their future. While having strong willed children can be very frustrating at times, I am learning the importance of speaking up for yourself. Georgia may be quiet in unfamiliar situations, but she has no problem speaking up for herself when she feels strongly about something. Take for example supper time last night, she got a large pink plastic cup with her meal and she had requested a small blue cup. As annoying as it is for her to immediately voice her concern about the cup, she didn’t passively sit back and use the big pink cup to avoid conflict. Georgia spoke up and in the moment expressed her concern about not getting the cup she had politely requested. While a water cup may seem like a silly thing to use your voice about, I do appreciate her willingness to stand up for herself and speak up about what is bothering her. How many times as adults do we sweep our concerns under the rug to avoid unnecessary conflict? How many times do you wish you had the courage of a fearless three year old who didn’t hesitate to fight for what they wanted? While not everything a three year old fights for is realistic or the best thing for them, I do greatly admire the fearless conviction my three year old has for things such as her small blue cup. Perhaps in the future I can channel my inner three year old and speak up when something doesn’t seem right.

I'm curious what sneaky life lessons you have learned from a three year old, I think if we are open to learning from our children we may quickly be surprised by the things we learn. I challenge you to take some time this week to really listen to your kids, put your phone away and truly engage in their stories and adventures. At the end of the day when your kids are asleep, take a few minutes to unpack some of the things you’ve heard and experienced from your children. Did you gain a new perspective? Are there things you might have missed out on today if you were too busy to fully engage with your kids? Often the simplest life lessons are the hardest for adults to grasp, simple things like sharing, respecting others and being kind to those who may be different than us. I’ll unpack a few more of these difficult lessons in my next blog, lessons from a five year old can truly be eye opening. Watch for part two of this blog series next week