Surviving Christmas Mom Guilt

At kindergarten pickup earlier this week, I overheard an intense conversation between two moms. One of the moms appeared totally frazzled by her lengthy Christmas to do list. In her intense panic she said, "I don't know how I'm possibly going to fit everything in before Christmas. Im going to feel so much guilt if I don't complete our holiday bucket list. I think I'm heading towards serious Christmas mom fail territory." I listened intently thinking her friend would offer support, perhaps she would offer reassurance to her that she was still a great mom. To my surprise, the other mom simply stated, "Oh I'm right there with you, we will be Christmas failures together."

These two moms had the idea of Christmas so incredibly confused. Somehow in their exhaustion and holiday anxiety they had lost sight of their worth as moms. You have no idea how badly I wanted to interject, how badly I wanted to jump in and encourage these two obviously exhausted moms. These two women who were clearly headed for holiday burn out, but I quickly decided in that moment that I would be better off minding my own business.

Are you feeling similar to these moms? Perhaps feeling like a Christmas mom fail. Are you overwhelmed by your Pinterest holiday bucket list? I want to take a minute to clear up a few things about Christmas for all moms.

•Some moms buy matching holiday pajamas and some moms don't have time or money to buy Instagram worthy pajamas. Both of these moms are worthy and both are GOOD moms.

•Some moms schedule family photos in time to print pretty Christmas cards, and some moms simply send a holiday text message. Both of these moms are worthy and both are GOOD moms.

•Some moms bake for weeks in preparation for Christmas, and some moms buy boxes of chocolate and a container of Oreos. Both of these moms are worthy and both are GOOD moms.

•Some moms do elaborate diy gifts for all of their kids teachers and coaches, and some moms buy coffee cards at the gas station on route for the last day of school. Both of these moms are worthy and both are GOOD moms.

•Some moms complete a lengthy holiday bucket list of family activities, and some moms cuddle on the couch watching Christmas movies every night. Both of these moms are worthy and both are GOOD moms.

•Some moms remember the ten different school Christmas spirit days in December and some moms totally forget them all. Both of these moms are worthy and both are GOOD moms.

•Some moms will wrap gifts in pretty paper with perfectly curled ribbons, and some moms put gifts in gift bags because they are short on time. Both of these moms are worthy and both are GOOD moms.

There is a ridiculous amount of pressure on moms to create this picture perfect month filled with endless holiday activities, treats, and gifts. I'm here to remind you that you are worthy even if all you do this December is decorate a tree and watch Christmas movies. Often times I think moms run on autopilot during the month of December, barely even stopping long enough to catch our breath. I know I'm guilty of putting way too much pressure on myself during the Christmas season.

Let me ask you something, will Christmas still happen if you don't get around to printing the perfect family Christmas card? Will Santa still come even if you don't make it to the mall to take an overpriced photo with the jolly guy? Will your kids care if you wrap gifts without bows this year? We can all agree that Christmas will come and go even if you miss a few checkboxes on your holiday bucket list.

It's time that we stopped tying our worth as mothers to the quantity of things we completed off a check list. The world has labeled moms as superhumans, it's assumed we can do the impossible and juggle a million different things at once. Perhaps we need to finally acknowledge that moms are not superhuman, at the end of the day we are simply humans. Instead of the world placing us on a pedestal and praising moms for trying to do it all at Christmas, let's allow moms to take a deep breath and remove the endless expectations we place of them.

The next time you are involved in a conversation with another mom who labels herself a mom fail because she can't do all of the Christmas things, take a moment to remind her that she doesn't need to do it all. Remind her that her worth as a mother is so much more than just the items she checks off a bucket list. Encourage her to spend time on the things that bring her the most Christmas joy.

If a holiday bucket list item seems like a chore, chances are it isn't bringing you any Christmas joy. Our children are only little for so long, let's spend our valuable time creating simple joy filled memories instead of creating hectic holiday chaos. Commit this Christmas season to giving yourself grace, don't allow yourself to be sucked into the toxic holiday mom guilt. In the end December 25th will come and go regardless of the steps we took or skipped along the way.